• Rachel Turner Wellness

"What if I don't have to be sick forever?"

Updated: Jan 29, 2021

Waaay back in 2004 when I finally discovered what the hell was wrong with me I recall being relieved to get a diagnosis but also freaking out inside that I was now living with a "chronic, incurable disease".

After adjusting to this new way of life I accepted that medication would forever be part of my daily routine and that my prescriptions may have to change over time should the drugs stop working... anything beyond that was hinted at but not discussed, which suited me just fine.

I distinctly remember hoping, before each check up, that maybe, just maybe my Consultant would tell me they had found a 'cure' as, at that time, I believed that this was my only hope.

But as time passed I began to feel uneasy at putting all of my hopes in prescriptions and medical developments. This stuff was out of my control, what if they never found a 'cure'?

So I started looking at what was in my control.

My first focus was my mindset. Relying on medical intervention had got me through the diagnosis stage and I am forever grateful to my (now retired) Consultant Surgeon for all of the care and support he gave, but hanging on to this alone felt like I was dangling over a precipice waiting for the fraying rope to snap.

I pondered on the possibility that "What if I don't have to live with this disease forever?" "What if, just maybe, I can get better and be who I was years ago, before all of this happened?"

Part of me thought I was being delusional but the other part of me, well, that one was fully on-board with my new way of thinking, like a best-mate when you share a hair-brained scheme after a few gins.

What I discovered was once my mindset had changed from being resigned to the fate of my disease to being open to all possibilities, new avenues and opportunities came may way.

So, alongside my medications and check ups I started trying new things, things I wouldn't have dreamed of, pre-diagnosis. I talked to therapists, I started researching my disease, I started asking myself "How did this happen?" "What do I need to recover?" "What is the root cause"?

This led me to feel less powerless and more empowered about my future and what it could hold for me. With this new found confidence I knew I wouldn't give up until I had reached the point where I would no longer have symptoms and no longer be ordering my next catalogue of medications.

And over time, with patience, perseverance and support I reached my goal of great health.

I am not complacent. I am fully aware that none of us know what is round the next corner and once you have lived for many years with a Chronic Disease life will never go back to how it was 'before'..... but I see this as the best bit...

I don't want my old life back, that was the life that was, silently, unknowingly, making me sick and I have learned so much about myself from it.

That was then - and this now

4 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All